Yesterday's angst on Tommorrow's Pages

Either Angst and Sadness are embedded in my XX chromosome or they have become my obnoxious, codependent, next door neighbors, who aren't happily married, yet comfortable, and they constantly borrow irreplaceable things like sleep, smiles, peace of mind, joy and good times. Combined they've become the party crashers of my life, however during their brief moments of separation, Angst rests, while Sadness comes on over and awkwardly comforts me like my favorite ex-boyfriend, the one I missed soooo much....until he came back. Then when Sadness has grown tired of me and my inability to move... POOF Angst returns, with a vengeance, it's kind enough to allow me to breath, but even that's conditional. Angst has a life-long battery and rarely grows tired of me, remarkably the feeling isn't mutual. If only the reprieve was long enough to develop a preparedness plan...Oh bother!

Is it love?!?!

So I'm at the place where its definitely more than a liking, however it feels sorta kinda like anxiety, or perhaps the stomach flu or reaching the peak of a roller coaster ride. Wait that was all bad stuff...Okay it's like a five course meal where you're totally in love with some of the food, but you could do without that weird cold soup...but you ate it anyway. It's an all too consuming event where all of my emotions are in this big ball of confused happiness. I'm overwhelmed. I stumble over my words, I smile so much that my face hurts, I feel the excitement in my bones, yet they ache. I almost can't believe it so I choose not to! And we are back at start...